I am going home

I am going home next week, with Cos. I am very excited. I feel restless. Soon I will see those old beautiful faces. Yummy food. I could almost smell them now. I dunno why, sometimes I feel it is easier to be myself in English, although it is my second or used to be the third language. Maybe it is just because my English is not good enough for me to hide anything from myself yet. I don't need to hide anything from others, simply because I cannot be bothered; and also I have nothing to hide. Sometimes I cannot believe how blunt and straight I have become. Sometimes I try to be a little bit more political, but it is not really my way of living. It is too tiring. Maybe that is why I love Australia so much. I don't enjoy the life in China where people have to wear a mask all the time, sometimes even when they are with their friends. I am not saying Chinese people are fake. I just think that China is a place where it is hard for people to be themselves. I have read lots of stuff from Chinese people's blogs. Many times they are worried about stuff which will be considered as non-sense here in Melbourne. They have to put up with so much shit in their daily life. I feel truly blessed that I have found Australia as my new home, a home that I have chosen for myself. I feel so sad when I think of the nice people in China, who cannot live their life as they wish, who have to put on a mask and do things they do not really want to do but have to. A simple example is social drinking. Drinking for me is a very enjoyble experience. Talking with friends while drinking is a wonderful thing to do after work or on weekends. But in China, many people have to drink for business sake. People in every country drink for business sake, you may say. The thing is in China people have to keep drinking to give other people "faces" even they are just about to throw up. And this does not only happen in business meetings, but also in friends' parties. I feel sad, when I see stories like this. Drinking itself is to get the true you out of you, to feel the best you could feel, to throw up the worst you have been hiding from everybody including yourself. I drink because I enjoy it, not because somebody wants me to. I guess it is really wonderful if you could be yourself and do what your heart desires and go wherever you wanna go. So next week I am going home, where I came from, where I was brought up; with Cos, to see that place again; to see what has changed since last time I left?